As someone who has personally benefited many times over from telling family stories and working on family history projects, I know first hand what amazing realizations can come from it, and with that in mind, I’m beyond thrilled to welcome Clémence Scouten to the blog. She’s been a fantastic inspiration to me for years (Hello APH family!), and as the founder of Memoirs & More, she specializes in helping people tell their stories! In this post, she’ll share some life lessons and reasons why YOU should be working on your own projects! Take it away, Clémence!
The Benefits of Working on Family History Projects
When I tell people family history projects are fun, easy, and meaningful, I often get a lot of Yeah, right! thrown back at me. They’re wrong, but I can understand where they’re coming from.
Family can be complicated. And the idea of sorting through boxes of old stuff doesn’t sound exciting. But don’t give up before you start! You are likely to have more fun and satisfaction than you expected. Best of all, the benefits of completing family history projects last for generations.
What to Do with Boxes of Family History Stuff
I was once hired by a client who said to me, “Boxes and boxes of family stuff went unopened from my grandparents’ house into my dad’s attic. They’re still there twenty years later, still unopened. I don’t want that going into my attic in the same state.”
Sound familiar?
That particular job was a simple “inventory & organize” job. But, mission accomplished! This client stopped the cycle of keeping things only for the sake of keeping them. His kids don’t realize it yet, but they will be happy not to inherit those disorganized mystery boxes.
What’s the point of hanging onto mystery boxes anyway? When items aren’t stored properly, they deteriorate faster, and potentially damage items you do care about. I’m thinking specifically of old newspaper, which is the poison of archives. Their high acid content causes them to fritter away. They will alter other materials they touch. Worst of all, they are a favorite of field mice looking for warm homes in the winter!
No one benefits from what is saved but not viewable. Just think of materials you have that no one had seen for decades. If it’s not worth looking at and sharing, then throw it away. But if you’re going to keep it, treat it well.
Discovering Heroes and Weirdos (Your Ancestor Role Models)
Knowing one’s family history can be especially helpful in times where life is giving us a little trouble. Every family—every family!—is made of individuals with their own stories. Some stories make us proud. Grandfathers, uncles, etc. don’t need to have won a medal in a war for us to recognize the meaning of their service to their country.
Conversely, we don’t have to judge harshly those who have fallen on bad times, even if it was of their own doing. Scratch the surface on most family trees, and you will find illegitimate children, surprise spouses, or cousins who married.
You Learn Life Lessons
When we are just starting out in life, we have a tendency to sometimes feel alone. Figuring out who we are, what we’ll do for a living, pondering life choices… these are tough questions. And it can feel as though no one has answered them before. The good news is, someone in our family probably has faced the same challenges, and their story can guide us or put things in perspective.
It’s knowing that these stories exist that is useful. It becomes a frame of reference in which to place our own experience. If we fail at a particular task, we can remember that it happened to this or that ancestor. We see that life goes on. Family history has something for everyone: second chances, successes, failures, heartbreak, illness, tragedy, joy, love, adventure, you name it. It’s a microcosm of the range of human experience, and your family history is your own.
Here’s a peek into one of my family stories that was helpful to me:
I was about to turn thirty and not happy about it because I felt very troubled about that milestone. I happened to break into a full body rash, which I thought was a coincidence. Not a great birthday present! The doctors had no idea what was going on. My grandmother did though. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve had that happen. It’s stress. I broke into a full body rash when I left my first husband. It’ll clear up before you know it.” And of course, it did!
Take a moment to think about ancestors who influenced you. Do you have a favorite aunt? Did you get along better with one particular grandparent? Sharing the stories of these people allows them to live on in the next generation. It’s one of the best pay-it-forward moments we can be part of.
Family History Helps You Find Your Place in Life
As humans, we’re programmed to be part of a group. Times change and today we have more opportunity than ever to select what group we want to belong to, but family is one that sticks. For better or worse, it’s the center of our rituals, it influences our activities, and is the one group to which we will always belong. Belong is the key word here. We can fight with our family, we can join a new family, create our own, we can even become estranged from certain family members. But, we can never stop being part of it. This sense of permanence and belonging are incredibly important for our well-being. Part of it is our sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves. This is no small thing. It doesn’t just feel good, it’s actually good for us.
A lot of research exists on the impact of this sense of belonging on children. Dr. Robin Fivush at Emory studies this subject and says that telling family stories “has a very important function in teaching children, ‘I belong here. I’m part of these stories.’ They provide not just a script for life, but a set of values and guideposts.” This particular quote came from an interview for the Wall Street Journal. If you’re curious to learn more, Dr. Fivush’s work is available in many academic journals, and on her blog.
Storytelling: a Better Way to Connect with the Next Generation
Got some good eye-rollers in your family? I know I was one in mine… Do any of these ring a bell? “Oh there goes Mom again, with the story of her first date.” “Why do we have to visit with Uncle Pete again? He only ever talks about poor Aunt Patty!” “Please don’t let Grandpa lecture us again about money!” The list goes on.
We’ve all been there.
The best part of family history projects is that it gives people a way to connect across generations without the eye rolling. When someone takes the time to write down or record a particular story, the pressure is off to verbally produce it every time there is an audience. If the story really is that important to the story teller, then why not record it or write it down?
Written versions can be accompanied by photos, letters, and other (scanned) family documents. This creates a fuller picture for the reader. It also becomes more meaningful. The reader can absorb the information at his or her own pace, and focus on what is most interesting to them. Best of all, the preachy element is either eliminated or significantly toned down.
This is also when genealogy research becomes really exciting. Family trees are a visual representation of data. They add an extra layer of meaning to family history projects by displaying the depth of a family’s roots. Younger generations relate because they can see exactly how they fit in and where they came from.
Storytelling is pretty much as old as humankind. We all do it naturally. Our family history archives are all larger than we realize. By adding a little intent, we can make sure the stories of our relatives last for the benefit of the family’s future. It’s not hard to do and your family will reap the rewards for generations.
What say you, readers? What benefits have you experienced as you’ve been working on your projects? Let us know in the comments below because we’d love to hear about it!
